“Can we get someone like Brené Brown?”
I hear it at least once a month from event organisers. And I always smile…because I know what they’re really asking for. (Hint: it’s not Brené.)
Let me explain. When someone asks for a speaker “like Brené,” they’re not really searching for a person. They’re searching for a feeling. They’ve sat in an audience at some point — maybe years ago and watched a room full of guarded, busy, seen-it-all professionals soften. Lean in. Laugh at the truth of it. Maybe wipe away a tear they didn’t expect.
And they’ve never forgotten it. That’s what they want for their people. Not a celebrity name on a poster. A room that walks out different to how it walked in.
So let’s talk about what actually creates that — because once you can name it, you can find it. And you don’t need a seven-figure speaking budget to do it.
The Brené effect: courage you can feel
Brené Brown changed the conversation. She made vulnerability a leadership word — in boardrooms, of all places. She tells the truth about being human: the shame, the fear, the armour we all wear to work and pretend we don’t.
And audiences feel seen before they feel taught. That order matters more than most people realise.
There’s real brain science behind it. When a speaker creates psychological safety in a room, something physical happens. The threat response quietens. The amygdala stops hijacking the show. And the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that reflects, imagines and decides to change — finally gets to do its job.
Connection isn’t a soft skill. It’s a brain state. No safety, no learning. It’s that simple.
The Mel effect: action you can take at 6am on a Tuesday
Then there’s Mel Robbins, who did something just as rare. She turned motivation into action. The 5 Second Rule works because it interrupts the brain’s hesitation loop before overthinking and cortisol take the wheel. 5…4…3…2…1 — and you’re moving.
A tool, not a theory. That’s why people are still using it years later.
Because here’s the uncomfortable truth about most keynotes: inspiration without action evaporates by the time people reach the car park. I’ve watched it happen. Standing ovation at 3pm, business as usual by Monday.
What 30 years in the room has taught me
I’ve spent more than three decades working with leaders — on stages, in boardrooms, in the quiet coaching conversations where the real work happens. More than 100,000 leaders around the world, from graduates finding their feet to CEOs carrying more than anyone knows.
And if there’s one thing I’d stake my career on, it’s this: the keynotes that change rooms do both.
They make people feel braver. AND they hand them tools they’re still using six months later.
Heart without action never gets started. Action without heart never lasts. The magic…the standing-ovation-that-actually-sticks magic; lives in the overlap.
I learned that the hard way, by the way. Not from a textbook. I rebuilt my life as a single mum and built a business from my kitchen table, and I can tell you exactly which moments required courage and which ones required a five-second decision to just begin. Most days needed both before breakfast.
Leadership is not a title. It’s a way of being. And the speakers who change rooms are the ones living that truth on stage — not performing it.
A confession: I used to compare myself too
Here’s something I don’t say on stage often enough. For years, I compared myself to the big names. I’d watch speakers like Brené and Mel and think: I’ll never have that platform. That book deal. That stage. And every single time, it made me feel smaller. Less than. Like I should quietly sit back down.
Here’s what I know now — and what the neuroscience confirms. Comparison isn’t harmless. The brain processes social ranking in the same circuitry as physical threat. Every time you measure yourself against someone else’s highlight reel, your cortisol rises, your prefrontal cortex goes quiet, and you start leading — and living — from fear instead of clarity.
Comparison didn’t make me better. It made me hesitant. And hesitant leaders don’t change rooms.
The shift came when I stopped asking “why aren’t I like them?” and started asking “what can only I bring?” My story. My scars. My kitchen-table comeback. The day I owned my worth was the day my work started landing differently — because audiences don’t connect with a copy of someone else. They connect with the truth.
So if you’ve been measuring yourself against someone else’s stage, someone else’s title, someone else’s confidence — hear me: the world doesn’t need another Brené or another Mel. It needs the first you. Own your worth. It changes everything.
Three questions to ask before you book any speaker
If you’re planning an event this year, ask these questions before you sign anything:
1. Will they tailor the keynote to OUR audience — or deliver last week’s talk with the logo swapped out?
2. Do they balance story with substance? Real research and lived experience — not just polished anecdotes?
3. Will our people leave with something they can actually do tomorrow morning?
If the answer to all three is yes, book them. That’s the effect you were searching for all along.
And because confidence is where all of this starts — for speakers, for leaders, for you — I’d love to give you something. When you subscribe to my newsletter at soniamcdonald.com, you’ll receive my Self-Confidence Workbook (RRP $49) free, straight to your inbox. It’s the same thinking I bring to every stage: build the confidence first, and the courage follows.
Now it’s your turn, and I genuinely want to know: what’s the best keynote you’ve ever seen — and what made it stick with you? Was it the story, the science, or the speaker…
